


Starring Role

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, NSFW, Reader Insert, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:20:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5879263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: The reader fell for Castiel, but he doesn't seem to return the feelings...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starring Role

It had been a long day and an even longer hunt. The boy had gone off to their own motel room, leaving you in yours to enjoy some time to yourself. After spending about an hour under the hot spray of a shower, you wrapped yourself in the big fluffy motel-provided towel, shaking the excess water off of your hair as you walked back out into the main room. You turned the radio on, hearing the first notes of a song you adored, and you increased the volume, swaying your hips to the beat. Almost immediately with the first verse of the song, your thoughts went to Castiel, the damn angel you’d been pining for.

“ _You’re hard to hug, tough to talk to, and I never fall asleep, when you’re in my bed”_

You paused for a moment, closing your eyes, then continued swaying, all your focus on the residual heat from the radiator warmed towel, the wetness dripping from your hair down your back, and of course, on the dark haired, blue eyed, trench coat wearing, thrice damned Angel Of The Lord that you’d fallen in love with. You’d tried so hard not to.

“ _All you give me is a heartbeat, I’ve turned into a statue”_

You’d spent months trying to ignore him, trying to ignore the spark of warmth in your heart whenever he was near, whenever he touched you. The warmth of his grace when he healed you. The moments he’d spent alone with you, reassuring you, hunting beside you…the loss you’d felt when you thought he was gone forever.

_“_ _And it makes me feel depressed cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed”_

And that one night you’d spent together, that one night that had fuelled your hope, your need, your complete and utter despair for him…only for him to disappear and pretend like it had never happened. Pretend like you were just another…another fucking hunter. No one special.

_“_ _You don’t love me, big fucking deal, I’ll never tell, you how I feel”_

You scowled, dancing with more energy now, angry, frustrated. Gritting your teeth, you looked up. ‘Fuck you, Castiel.’ How dare he? How dare he treat you like that? You’d never told either of the brothers about what had happened, despite their suspicions regarding your behaviour towards the angel. You were downright hostile to him, but then how to cover up love and pain without hatred and anger? You didn’t know how.

_“_ _You don’t love me, not a big deal, I’ll never tell you how I feel”_

Checking the motel door was locked, you pulled the towel off, allowing the cool night air to touch your shower warmed skin, feeling a small modicum of freedom as you swayed to the tune, wet rivulets running down your back over your skin as you danced. For a moment, you wished you could be somewhere in a dark crowd, enjoying the beat with others – but hunting didn’t afford that luxury, so you would make do with the empty hotel room and the atmosphere you created yourself.

_“_ _It almost feels like a joke to play out the part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart”_

You span round, giggling a little, then stopped, opening your eyes as the room stopped spinning. You froze, unsure if what you were seeing was real.

_“_ _You know I’d rather work alone, than play a supporting role”_

He stood opposite you, by the door, no emotion on his face, no reaction to the fact that you were completely naked. You stared, blinked once, then shivered a little. 'C-Castiel…what are you doing here?’

“ _If I can’t get the starring role, sometimes I ignore you so I feel in control”_

Castiel gave a cursory glance towards the radio, and the lyrics playing. 'You called me.’

'No, I didn’t.’ You retorted, a little angry now, uncaring of your nudity.

“ _Cause really, I adore you, and I can’t leave you alone”_

'You cursed. It was enough to catch my attention. From you.’ He raised an eyebrow. 'You are…unclothed.’

You blushed, swooping down to pick the towel up off of the floor, covering yourself. 'You…you were listening to me?’

“ _Fed up with the fantasies, they cover what is wrong”_

'I listen on occasion. To make sure you are safe.’ You scoffed at his words, tucking the towel into itself, rolling your eyes at him.

_“_ _Come on, baby, let’s just, get drunk, forget we don’t get on”_

'Like you care.’ Your reply was scathing, and you moved over to the bed, intent on getting dressed. He didn’t say anything in return.

_“_ _You’re like my dad, you’d get on well, I send my best, regards from hell”_

'I do not understand why you would think I don’t.’ Cas replied, suddenly behind you, his hand caressing your shoulder gently. 'After…’

_“_ _It almost feels like a joke to play out the part”_

'After what, Cas? After you fucked me, then left me? After you pretended I didn’t exist? After you treated me like a goddamn _burden_?’ Your eyes watered, threatening to spill tears but you refused to let them fall as you turned on him, anger lighting up your face. 'You _used_ me, Cas.’ A small laugh escaped you. 'Dean was right. Angels are _dicks_.’

_“_ _When you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart”_

Castiel stared at you, his hand still on your shoulder, his face screwed up in confusion. 'I was trying to protect you. I have a mission of my own.’

“ _You know I’d rather work alone, than play a supporting role, if I can’t get the starring role”_

'Go fuck yourself, Cas.’ You spat out, and tore yourself away from his grip. He blinked, then his expression grew angry, and he grabbed you by the top of your arms, pushing you back against the wall. 'Cas! Get off!’

'I never asked for this.’ He said, firmly, loosening his grip on your arms a little. Moisture pooled between your thighs at his behaviour, and your breathing grew heavy.

_“_ _I never sent for love, I never had a heart to mend”_

'That doesn’t make it okay.’ You replied, your eyes on his lips. Castiel shook his head, his grip on your arms preventing you from moving, but not hurting you. 'I fell for you, Cas. And you rejected me.’

'I was trying to keep you safe.’ He said, earnestly. 'I did not wish to see harm come to you.’

“ _Because before the start began, I always saw the end”_

You sighed, bringing your forearms up to break his grip. 'I’m a hunter! I’m always going to be in danger.’ You locked your eyes with his, and you waited a moment before speaking again. 'I love you, Cas. I love you so much that it burns my insides. And you don’t care.’

_“_ _Yeah, I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me”_

He frowned, tilting his head to the side as he contemplated you. 'You think I don’t care for you?’ He pressed you up against the wall harder, and your breathing hitched with the intensity of his blue eyes. You nodded, hesitantly. 'You are mistaken, Y/N. I care for you deeply.’ He sighed, his lips inches from yours. 'Too deeply.’ You longed to reach out, to touch him, to feel his skin under yours but the truth of his words could not penetrate the fog of anger you felt for the last few months, for the intimate moments you’d given him only to be stolen away and twisted, broken.

_“_ _But nothing’s ever gonna give, I’ll never set you free”_

'I never wanted to feel this.’ Cas continued, coming closer, the length of his body pressed against yours through the towel. 'I never imagined feeling this heat, this pain, this exquisite joy every time I see your face. I never wanted it, because I knew it would hurt, but at the same time, it makes me feel so…..free.’ He exhaled on the last word, and you stared at him, confusion in your eyes.

_“_ _Yeah I’ll never set you free”_

'What do you feel?’ You asked, almost breathlessly. He smiled, then leaned forward without giving an answer, pressing his lips to yours, his fingers undoing the knot in the towel to send it cascading to the floor once more. You didn’t protest, allowing him to ravage your mouth, his hands pinning yours to the wall. 'Castiel.’ You gasped as he pulled away, leaning his forehead against yours. 'I can’t…’

'Sssh, Y/N.’ He pulled your hands to your chest, kissing your knuckles.

_“_ _It almost feels like a joke to play out the part”_

He moved you to the bed, laying you down, stripping off his own clothes to lay beside you. There was no preamble, or foreplay, just long and intense kisses that fanned the flames within you. You didn’t speak, didn’t protect, not wanting to let go of him, not wanting to acknowledge that you would have to, that it would hurt all over again.

“ _When you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart”_

He entered you slowly, your heavy breaths intertwined as you moved together, thrust complimenting thrust as he lowered his head to kiss you long and slow. You felt your walls clench around him, and you came with a silent cry, a single tear slipping down your cheek.

_“_ _You know I’d rather work alone, than play a supporting role”_

Cas kissed it away, pressing his lips to your cheek as he did so, and warmth suffused your body as he peaked, finishing with a final few thrusts, his forehead to yours once more as you both lay in rapt completion.

'You’re not gonna stay are you?’ You were waiting now, for the illusion to shatter, the short but sweet lovemaking to fade into memory, and the angel to disappear, returning to his indifference of you. He rolled over, pulling you into his side, kissing your forehead as he sighed heavily.

'I can stay tonight.’ He replied, embracing you tightly.

“ _If I can’t get the starring role.”_

You tried not to think about waking up alone.

“ _The starring role”_


End file.
